nacole(:

“Childhood is not from birth to a certain age and at a certain age
The child is grown, and puts away childish things.
Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies.”
-Edna St. Vincent Millay

Who has the authority to say at this age you become an adult? I think it is contextual, it varies by individual, it is either everlasting, never beginning or it comes to a dead end. [With varying options, of course]
An everlasting childhood may be something like Peter Pan. The child who never wants to grow up and seizes every day as a new adventure, an opportunity to see the Seven Wonders, a way to escape from the duties of life. A way to indulge in the deliciousness life has to offer.
A childhood that never begins, is one that is stolen from society or from the factors they are born into. People are forced into adulthood without experiencing the beauty, innocence and creativity of a childhood.
A childhood that comes to a dead end is one in which you have a set date of when you become an adult. There is no more room for making a house out of a cardboard box instead your days are filled with your career or whatever it may be that you have decided to fill your time. The richness of imagination seems to have slipped through your fingers.
Whatever it may be there is no doubt that a childhood from ten years ago is nothing like a childhood today. What happened to coloring books, bicycles, having a curfew of when the street lights went out - has transformed into iPods, touchpads, who has the fastest internet and who can pull all nighters playing video games.
Maybe this new reality is just an adjustment we have to make but as for me I don’t want to lose my grip on imagination. Technology may influence and benefit my life but never will it control it.

“Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.”
-Robert Frost

my Grandmother passed away. She was like a second mother to me. From the very beginning we shared a special connection. I was born three months early, weighing one pound twelve ounces on her 50th birthday. September 28th. That has to mean something. my Mother and I were not supposed to live. my original due date was christmas day. instead I chose my Grandmother’s birthday. She did not lead an easy life. and I admire her for her strength. there is so much i want to say to her now. But she is still teaching me something new daily. and I cant express how amazing that is. it hurt so much but i am glad that now she is relieved of her cancer and her suffering. and i know she is with my Dad, my Grandpa (her husband), and my uncle (her brother), and all who have passed. and they’re all watching over us.

Now I am crying because my Uncle picked this night to get drunk and come home and tear the house apart. knowing that one year ago his wife’s mother passed away, his son’s grandmother, his neices Grandmother. it breaks my heart.

i want to be able to give my children a healthy childhood. with parents who dont drink. i want my daughter to have a father daughter dance. i want my son to have his father son fishing trips. i want family vacations. all for them. i want them to have what i didnt.

tomorrow is a new day, and it will all be okay right?
my Grandma at my side and my Mom’s sunshine.
♥

special thank you goes to Gage and Ryon.

those we have lost remind us that tomorrow is guaranteed to no one.